Stronger

Well, I promised after the first of the year I would get better at being more consistent with my blogs and I have clearly failed miserably. We have had a lot going on in our VERY personal life that we have kept somewhat secret for over a year and a half now. After the recent occurrences (which I will explain later) we have decided that we are ready to open up and let people in on what's been happening. Bare with me as I try to make this as simple as possible.

In January of 2011, Adam and I decided to start trying to start our family. After a very long year of let down after let down, we went to a fertility specialist in January 2012 in Urbana. After many blood tests and ultrasounds, I was diagnosed with poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and Adam was diagnosed as having low sperm morphology (poor sperm shape). These two things put together were keeping us from our dream of having a baby come true for over a year! It was very hard to let settle in but after moving back to Chicago in May, we began seeing one of the best fertility specialist in Illinois in June. Dr. Kaplan at the Fertility Centers of Illinois has a history of very high success rates, so that began putting some of our fears at ease. We underwent our first Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI) in July and after the very long two week wait we had a positive blood test. I was actually pregnant! We couldn't believe it for quite awhile. Because pregnancies achieved through reproductive treatments are considered high risk we had to go in several times for blood work and ultrasounds over the next couple weeks and it was pretty scary. Unfortunately, on August 8, at 7 weeks, I suffered a miscarriage. As common as they are, anyone who has gone through one will tell you it is a horrible experience you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy. We are still dealing with our anger and pain daily, trying to understand why some people are given children so easily and we are stuck going through this horrible process. We will have to wait a few months before we are able to try IUI again, to give my body plenty of time to heal from the miscarriage. We were told by our doctor that it is very uncommon for people to get pregnant on the first IUI, which gives us some hope that maybe the next time it will be successful and have a better ending. Only time will tell.

Several of our close friends and family were aware of what's been happening for part of our journey so far, but we have decided that it's getting harder and harder to not tell people and we would love for more people to be educated on "infertility" including myths and fallacies that surround it. I will continue to do my best to help more people understand anything I can. Infertility is a very scary journey to starting a family, those who have or are currently experiencing it know exactly what I mean, and those who don't, well, I'm going to do my best to help you understand! :)

Otherwise we're doing okay and trying to support each other and stay positive! I'm going to leave you with a quote I found on Pinterest the other day. It made me think of my amazing husband as I read it, I could not have gotten through many of the days over the last 20 months without him!

"The couples that are 'meant to be' are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger than they were before!"